The Bug

When I was 3 my mom went back to work so her friend down the street babysat me during the day. Once I’d get to her house she’d shove me and her two boys out into the backyard to play until my mom came back.

The play set in the back yard was a 60s VW Bug filled with shattered glass from all it’s windows being smashed in. This was before safety glass, so I’d have cuts all over my arms and legs, and glass imbedded in my skin. Luckily they had Bactine to spray in my open sores if I cried.

The Spin

From a friend:

"My mom went to a baby shower and all the kids of the moms were roaming free outside. We all ended up eating poisonous berries, so the moms freaked out and called a doctor. He told them to give us Syrup of Ipecac and hoist us up under their arms and spin us until we got dizzy. Then they'd rush us over to a bucket where we puked out the berries. It was awesome."

The Prank

When I was 13 my sister and I short-sheeted my mom's bed but by the time she came home she was too drunk to notice.

The Zodiac

When I was 7, my mother’s boyfriend had a poster next to his toilet depicting the sexual positions associated with each zodiac sign. Mine was the one where the lady sits on the man’s lap, facing away. I wondered if that was some sort of clue to the Aries personality I was going to have.

The Camp Out

A friend rode home with her drunk father from a bar late one night. When they parked in the driveway he got out, went into the house and locked the door behind him, all before she could even get out of the car.

She tried pounding on the door to get in, but he was to passed out drunk to hear her.

The Nightmare

My first nightmare was of the lion on the Lowenbrau beer can.

Just Plain Karen

One friend grew up ashamed because everyone in her town was named something like Creek, or Sunshine or Moonflower and she was just plain Karen.